new day, new discovery

its the 15th today or rather the 16th because its past midnight already.
less than ten days left and i have too much to do
too much to leave behind.
i think its the first time i've felt sad to leave this place
the comfort of home, the love of dad mom and family
joel and fags..

and im not ready the leave at a time i feel so unstable and insecure.
but as eve says in her blog, life's like that, isnt it?

grin. i want to cheer up but i cant.
i want to take your word, but i dont know if i can
i know im being a ***** but i cant help it
i know i should forget it and move on but i cant bring myself to

God, would you give me a contrite heart that's willing to change and seek you in all that i do?
God, would you make me a person who's ever so willing to forgive just like how you so readily forgave us?
God, would you allow me to stop being an idiot and dwelling in misery that i've created for myself?

on the bright side, joel makes the best spaghettis in the whole wide world.
and yay i got my international student card! yipeeee hee hee
and because i got materials, i can start on project byebyeade for joel and happy birthday evie for sissy !